गुरुवार, 15 सितंबर 2011

The great Indian fasting circus is now a smash hit

The ‘Pan-India Popularity Rating Points (PPRP)’ are out. Believe it or

not, neither the irresistible and ostentatious stars from the world of

celluloid (of course I mean Bollywood or what else would world of

celluloid come to represent in Indian context- certainly not the films

of Ray?) nor the equally irresistible cricket demigods top the

ratings.

Politicians certainly not- how could you even make a reference to

politicians? Don’t you know they are the roots of all evils that

surround us? Sorry, I have to admit that I do suffer from occasional

strokes of Cerebral Memory Imbalance (CMI) and it was one of these

strokes that resulted in the production of this social blasphemy.

Politicians in India do not belong to us – the common men. They have

been nurtured and trained in a controlled anti-India environment in

highly-modern sea labs of Virginia by a bunch of NASA scientists and

Greg Chappel (Yup, that obnoxious Aussie who ruined the career of

Irphan Pathan who, but for his tutelage, would have become an

all-rounder six times better than Sir Garrifield Sobers). The entire

cost of this ‘mission’ was borne by Roosevelt, Churchil, Lord

Dolhousie, Queen Victoria (all of them were allowed to walk out of

their graves by a Christian god whom I last saw in a movie or a Door

Darshasn serial- I can’t recall exactly where...baba where is my

memory drink?)and ......Digvijay Singh (yes, that snobbish royal from

MP did collude with foreigners in this anti-Indian campaign...thank

you baba...courtesy the herbal drink, I can recollect everything now).

Now please forgive me for straying from the information I was to serve

you first as implied in the opening paragraph. But please don’t be

angry folks, I, fortunately or unfortunately (baba drink please), have

just joined media and therefore building on suspense and keeping

audience on tenterhooks saying plenty of things without meaning

anything before coming to the point (only when you think it’s time you

went home and took your wife out for dinner) are traits of my

profession.

Calm dowm...dn’t frown...without further ado, I must announce the name

of the winners of toppers in PPRP. They are a bunch of alpha-Indians

out on the road, street, ground observing fast onto death. They may

appear different with their gears but they have one common agenda- to

rid Bharat Mata or Mother India (I do not mean Nurgis certainly) of

corruption and satanic politicians. Some may be seen sporting saffron

robes while some may be spotted in plain white Gandhian outfits (even

the mom-boy duo who advertises Tide may be envious of their

whiteness). Chances are of also bumping into bush-shirt wearing or

sari-clad penance-figures.

They have been sent to the earth by the god himself who created

Bharat. I must add here that I’m not talking about the god who created

the earth. Bharat was constructed by that great god in such a manner

as it would be free of corruption and all kinds of moral decays and it

was the case with the country till these genetically-engineered

politicians descended here (thanks baba for another sip...did you use

shark’s fin while preparing it?)

I’m going out now as I’m unable to log in to my Facebook ID. I knew

politicians are behind this.....Have to sit on fast unto death till I

am allowed access to my ID...(ya Baba dn’t worry, I’v consumed eight

apples, six oranges, two bowls of porridge and one litter of cane

juice..wn’t have to worry for hunger till my demands are

met).......Want to join me?

1 टिप्पणी:

  1. The people are captivated to see someone playing the real opposition. Lack of representation over the years has made our country a failed state.

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